Taking care of yourself this holiday season

Taking care of yourself this holiday season

I was falling into the black hole of YouTube the other day (you know that hole where you go in to find one video and then 2 hours later, you find yourself watching a totally unrelated video?) and I came across a video featuring Miranda Kerr. It’s actually a worthwhile video to watch, but she said something in the video that really resonated with me.

“If you take care of yourself, then you can give so much more as a mother, you can give so much more to your work …”

Obviously, this quote can be tailored to you: “If you take care of yourself, then you can give so much more as a ________ [friend, daughter, wife, mother …]

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I don’t know why, but I’ve been especially cranky and “off” this holiday season. Throughout the school year, I would get into frequent bouts of feeling “off” to the point where many of my friends felt it.

Now I’m not advocating for people pleasers, but I don’t think it’s fair or ever enjoyable for your friends to deal with negative/pessimistic people. I always feel horrible and sorry when I’m snapping back to my friends or am not my usual chirpy self.

I think this quote is really critical, especially during the holidays when we’re spending so much time with our family and friends. We have to be the best versions of ourselves so that we can step our best foot forward when we’re spending time with others.

For me, that’s to exercise, journal, get lots of sleep, eat nourishing and nutritious food and getting enough alone time. This last one seems counterintuitive, but I often times find myself the most energetic and outgoing with my friends when I’ve had enough time for myself to recharge.

And exercise doesn’t have to be extreme. I usually like to go on runs, but these days I’ve been trying out the barre/pilates/yoga classes at my gym – and completely obsessed! It’s nice to have someone tell you what to do and the class members motivate you to not give up! Or even a simple morning walk with the dog or family is always up my alley.

So in short, remember to pamper and take care of yourself during the holiday season. It can definitely get hectic and busy, but unless you maintain the best version of yourself, you can’t give as much to those around you.

What do you do to recharge/take-care of yourself?

xoxo,

Stephanie

 

 

Thankful for my eating disorder

Thankful for my eating disorder

This post comes a bit late, but I had to make sure I had enough time to process and think about this topic.

For those who don’t know, I suffered under an eating disorder in middle school all the way leading up to the beginning of high school. I wouldn’t say I’m 100% recovered at this point, but I feel that I have recovered to a point where I am comfortable enough in sharing.

This Thanksgiving, as per usual, I had a lot of things to be thankful about. Thankful for my family and friends, especially those who have stayed constantly supportive of me through thick and thin. Thankful of the amazing education I’ve received. Thankful of a warm home. Thankful of being surrounded by (more than) enough clothes and great nourishing foods.

But something that was new when I counted my blessings this Thanksgiving was my eating disorder.

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Yes, my eating disorder consumed my life. I was constantly thinking of food food food, of the calories, of my weight. My eating disorder made me miserable. I hated going out to eat with my friends because that meant another battle time where I had to avoid the tempting foods. I hated when my mom made a carb-rich meal for dinner. For a girl who since as a baby had a huge appetite, my eating disorder made me hate all these things. I hated these things and instead loved sleeping with my stomach empty, loved seeing my weight go down one by one, loved almost in a sense depriving myself.

So how on earth could I be thankful for my disordered eating?

While I am not thankful of all the deprivations and restrictions I place upon my mind and body, I am thankful for the new perspective. I am thankful for being able to experience and to ultimately understand and sympathize with not only those who underwent/currently going through an eating disorder but also anybody has an unhappy relationship with food or their body.

Growing up, I was that girl everybody envied. I would eat so much (I would literally eat two servings of rice for every meal…) yet all that food would never go into gaining a pound but into gaining an inch. I never understood the deal about gaining weight, never understood why people couldn’t just enjoy stuffing their faces with amazing food.  Anorexia and bulimia which I learned from health class were as distant to me as Christopher Columbus and the Mayflower.

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This is 10 year old Stephanie. As I was tall, I had to wear big sizes but then that meant all my clothes were loose

However, through my eating disorder I understand how stressful and how consuming these things can be. I understand that weight and food can ruin some people’s lives and can cause them to be miserable. Through my eating disorder I have been able to gain a more nuanced perspective on an otherwise heavily stigmatized topic.

In fact, my eating disorder was what propelled me to start this blog with Serena. I discovered how nutritious and nourishing food can be through my recovery. I wanted to share as much as I could about how amazing food was, especially when I came from a period where food made me anxious and fearful.

I want to thank those who have been there to help me in my recovery. This counts my mom, my dad, a handful of friends back home and at school, my prefect at school, Mack from mackmarie, and God. When I felt so insecure about myself and my worth, these people trusted in me, they loved me unconditionally, and gave me so much support and steadfast guidance.

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I have so much love and respect to this girl. My pillar of strength and support and who unfailingly makes me laugh daily

So long story short, yes, I am thankful for my eating disorder and I wouldn’t want to change it in anyway.

If you’re still reading, thank you so much! You’re the best!

Was there anything special/new that you were thankful for this Thanksgiving?

xoxo,

Stephanie

Serena…

Serena…

Okay, I’m not one to gush about someone/something, but for my friend Serena (the one who runs the other half of the blog), I think I need to make an exception.

Long story short, Serena and I met over our obsession for healthy foods. As freshmen in boarding school, we as well as the rest of our grade were thrust into a world away from home and with completely new people. Serena and I were the only ones at the table for breakfast, lunch, and dinner who had “healthy” foods. We consistently had salads, greens, fruits, and unprocessed and clean foods on our plates every day and every meal.

So of course, as foodies, we bonded and I consider Serena one of my closest friends. And at this time, it’s even truer.

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Lately, I’ve been falling off on this healthy band wagon lately. Call it stress eating, but the meals I’ve been eating not Stephanie. A few weeks ago, over the span of two days, I ate 5 slices of pizza. Now, granted, these 5 slices of pizza were eaten because or else, I wouldn’t be able to eat anything. Being away from home in a boarding school makes it hard to eat when I have club meetings or other events during dinner time. 

But this could have been fixed and modified. The freshmen Stephanie would not have succumbed to these things. But as the lazy sophomore I’ve embarrassingly become, I’ve started slacking off. 

I’ve been eating fried foods. I’ve been eating processed junk foods. I’ve been eating whole bagels every morning. And the worst thing is, it has had a negative effect on my energy levels, my mood, my skin, and my digestion. I’ve been bloating a lot more, I’ve been getting gas in my stomach more, and my stomach feels undigested when I’m studying in the night and I’ve been gulping down water because the food was too salty. 

But even when I lost hope in myself and my worth and my capability to eat healthy again, Serena believed in me. Serena encouraged me and supported me to eat healthy again. She wasn’t aggressive or gave me feel inferiority or made me guilt trip myself. Instead, she gently encouraged me. It’s hard to describe, but just ugh, she’s the best. 

So go find yourself a friend like Serena. Or better yet, be that friend who is Serena. That makes you want to be healthy. That makes you motivated to be healthy and back on track when you’ve desperately and obviously gone off track. 

Thank you Serena and I love ya!

Do you have a “Serena” in your life?

Xoxo,

Stephanie